Bi-Weekly Newsletter
Welcome back to the second instalment of our newsletter that comes every second week and is coming to you on the second of December. We’d like to take a second to thank everyone for the support on the first instalment, it’s been second to none.
Unlike our train drivers, the town has been full of life over the last fortnight. From an exciting new sponsor for STR and Christmas preparations, we’ll be shelling out all the gossip in this week’s newsletter.
Snail Trail Rail has been tirelessly longing for a sponsor over the past couple weeks. Seemingly out of nowhere, a highly renowned, global company with tanks, drums and mines of history behind it, slid in to save the day. Shell Oil’s, Gastropodic Rehoming Division have invested a large proportion of their fortunes into our prospective train line. A spokesperson from the company stated this:
‘We are delighted to be working with the team at Snail Trail Rail. They approach the project with a constant spiral of ambition and firm, salt of the earth, professionalism. Shell has really hit the snail on the head with this partnership!’
- Mr E. S. Cargot, Managing director, Shell Oil’s Gastropodic Rehoming Division
You may have also noticed the promotional Shell sponsor cards in circulation that are accompanied by an actual certified autograph from Snail Trail Rail himself. These are few and far between so if you do come across one, hold onto it tightly, mind the gap and if you see anything suspicious, see it, snail it, sorted!
We have also just received confirmation from Samantha Cusick that the planned boxing day match for Hairyart Lea FC will go ahead. Click here for tickets, don’t hesitate as they are suspected to sell out thick, long, blonde and fast.
This next bit of news will send you off the rails. An exhibition is in the works to showcase STR’s ongoing journey (now stuck between Tooting Becks and Red Blue and Green Park due to trespassers on the track.) It will take the form of a retrospective of the prospective railway line that is Snail Trail Rail. More information is on track to come so stay tuned.
SWR update: Pile o shite. Cancelled trains at the weekend because of ‘overcrowding’. Train went past virtually empty so was just fed absolute porky pies. Had to wait 20 minutes for another train. Didn’t fancy getting where I wanted to be anyway. *
*STR would never lie to you