Newsletter 10 is here with a vengeance! We are proud to announce that alongside the amount of staff we’ve had to let go because of accusations and associations, we are in double digits! A celebration party will be held in our honour, details at the bottom of the page.*
It’s all been kicking off this week hasn’t it. Bombs were raining down with Dubai alarmingly taking a lot of the damage. This news shook the world due to the prospect of many national treasures being right in the middle east of the danger. Worry not! Arabella Chi has confirmed her safety on Instagram and has received many encouraging messages such as ‘Glad you straightened your hair and put on your makeup to comment on this scary time. Thinking of you xxx’ and ‘Read the room and remember if you are coming back to the UK get your tax bill sorted’. A rep told STRNLHQ that Arabella has moved to the Gaza strip to seek refuge from the British press and funemployed Foxy Bingo mums.
Aside from the war, author has had a whale of a time over the past 2 weeks. We at STRNLHQ have taken a little trip on the EUROSTAR!!! Those avid fans of the newsletter will have seen these updates on the @harriartlea Instagram. The Eurostar took author all the way out of London to Brussels and then back to London and then all the way to Bedford and then back to London all in one swift trip (about 3 days). Bedford was full of impeccable architecture, delectable cuisine and genre-defining art. Author started the trip with the long walk from Bedford station to the Place du Grand Sablon which was littered in European sunshine and adorned in gold balustrades. The winding lanes of the midlands then led author to an underground bar specialising in MAES pils lager (MAES standing for Most Amazing European Sity.) After a late morning pick-me-up, author sauntered up the A6 to visit the Magritte museum. Hailing from Luton, Rene Magritte was one of the pioneers of surrealism in the mid 20th century, bringing the intangible world of dreams into a comprehensible realm. What followed was a culinary delight. Bedford treated us to fresh ‘moules and frites’ with a side of indispensable European hospitality. The day concluded with a trip up to a rooftop bar to soak up the sights of Bedford before author got the train back to London then Brussels and then back to London.
In light of this once in a lifetime trip, STR have decided to begin production of a molluscles and frites company due to the overabundance of migrant snails perishing whilst working on construction of the STR line.** It’s what their families would have wanted.
Only joking, how silly would it be for a snail themed train company turned TV show with reindeer Christmas temps to diversify into a food company!
*52.14° N, 0.48° W
**UAE bit busy atm so STR upkeeping their human rights record.